GAMALIEL JAMES VALLEJO AUSTE

James, Jayme. A staunch nationalist, a true-blooded Tazmanian devil, a passionate environmentalist, mountaineer and spelunker, a caring friend who is always there for you. His legendary trademarks are his cap, his water jug, and his medicine kit. He treats his medicine pills like friends and eats them like candy. James is an enigma. He is a veritable "synthetic man," having lost all his hormones in his battle with brain cancer. Despite this, with James around, there is never a dull moment. He maintains a positive and happy outlook. Funny, witty, and a born daredevil, he will surely drive your crazy. He is one-of-a-kind.

James is a true survivor. He is courage and faith personified. In his battle with the Big C, he remained steadfast in his belief that the Biggest C in his life: Christ, will prevail. Indeed, James can be best described by the lines of the poem, "What makes a man great?". It's his determination to reach and climb every mountain. It's his strength and courage to face the obstacles he confronts and pursue what few men dare. It's the inspiring way he touches people's lives. But most of all, it is his faith in God and his hope that "God will make a way!"

AB . POLITICAL . SCIENCE

Life is a choice. That is one consistent lesson that my father taught me, my kuya and my little brother, when we were growing up. Through the years, this message has guided me.

In my second Church-sponsored youth summer camp, I made a choice that has made all the difference in my life. A choice that has been the guiding light , through all the storms that I have experienced. A choice that has been my compass and my anchor, giving me direction and hope.

In that summer camp, when we were asked: Have you accepted Christ into your lives? Have you accepted Him as your Lord and Saviour?, I chose to accept Him, even if I still had a vague understanding of the greatness of His power and His love.

In September 1996, after almost a year of unexplainable aches and joint pains, numerous doctors visits, seemingly endless blood tests and x-rays, and just one month before my 19th birthday, I was told I had brain cancer . I had two very rare type of tumors in my brain, which was considered inoperable, since it was too deep in the brain and too complicated for our local doctors to handle. We needed to go to the USA for further diagnosis and treatment. At that point, I was faced with a choice. I could be angry and depressed, asking the Lord: Why? Why me? Why now ? After all I have lived a good 19 years. I was at the peak of my college life ---- I was looking forward to graduation. I lived a clean life by anyoneıs standard‹No alcohol, No cigarettes, No drugs, No softdrinks,even! GRABE! Why me? Bakit ako pa?

Or, I could choose "to take the road less travelled", as Robert Frost puts it. The road of faith! A faith different from others. A faith described by Martin Luther as "a reckless confidence in the Grace of God".

I chose the road of faith. I chose to believe rather than live in despair. I chose to be a victor, not a victim.

This faith has given me strength and hope in the midst of my battle with cancer. This faith has given me peace, a peace that the world has difficulty understanding. I remember how, when my doctors told me that because of my tumors location, I had developed a rare condition known as panhypopituitarism --such that my blood has stopped producing all six major hormones , necessary for survival and growth, and I would need to take replacement medicines, until I die, I just smiled and cracked a joke. I told them, "Thatıs good, I have nothing more to worry about!! I have lost everything, so there is nothing more to lose. " The doctors reaction was akin to someone having seen/heard a lunatic. They were surprised ----shocked by my reaction. (Yung reaction ng mga doctor, akala mo nakakita sila ng siraulo! Shocking! ) Or, when my mother asked the doctors whether there were any possible long term effects of all of my medicines, and I answered : "Poverty" (since all my replacement hormones are not available in the Philippines and we still have to order them from the USA).

Both of my tumors are now gone. I have a whole array of medicines which I have to take everyday, such that my friends tease me that I am like a walking drugstore . Aside from having lost all of my hormones, I also have diabetes insipidus (a water based diabetes such that without my medicine, I can pee up to 13 liters a day, when the average for a normal human being is only 3 liters/day). My eyesight sometimes gives me problems but despite all these, I have continued with my outdoor lifestyle of climbing mountains and exploring caves. Many people, even some local doctors, are aghast when they hear this. They tell me, "Hindi ka pa natuto. or Di pa dapat with your type of condition, nasa bahay ka na lang,nagpapahinga ? Hindi ba dapat, you should take it easy na lang and not tire yourself unnecessarily ?

Comments like these pain me so much, because I believe that I have been given a second chance at life, not to stay in bed or stay at home, just waiting to die. I believe that God has a plan for me and that he has given me this second life, so I can continue the fight and in the process, give glory to His mighty name.

During the most difficult times of my treatment, like when I was not allowed to drink water, not even a sip, because of low sodium levels or during the last days of my radiation therapy, when my best friend (who went to the USA to keep me company and drive me to the hospital, since my mother does not drive) and my youngest brother, would bring me to the emergency room because I was dehydrated from being sick all day. I found comfort and renewed strength in Don Moenıs song, " God Will Make A Way".

This is the song I listened to everyday, as we drove from San Francisco to Stanford University Hospital in Palo Alto, where I had my daily radiation for five weeks . The words of the song goes like this:

God will make a way, where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we can not see.
He will make a way for me.
He will be my guide, holding me close to his eyes.
With love and strength for each new day, He will make a way!
God will make a way!

God did make a way. For the past two years, I have been cancer free. However, several months ago, during the dengue outbreak, I was hospitalized for two days because of a low platelet count-a symptom of dengue. Thank God, it was a false alarm, it was not dengue. However, the worst was still to come. Since I was still not feeling well, and my blood levels were like a rollercoaster, more specialized blood tests were done. After a week of waiting for the results and being told I had unusual blood, and the doctor was revalidating the results , we received a fax of the results. When we read it, we understood why they took a lot of time to report the findings. The fax read " findings: consistent with T cell leukemia"! T cell leukemia is a very aggressive form of leukemia, such that you can be dead in less than a year.

My friends reactions ranged from disbelief to anger . (Ano ba yan ? Akala ko ba tapos na yan? Bakit ikaw na naman ? Dapat iba naman. Bakit ngayon pa, one semester before graduation ?)

However, my familyıs reaction and mine, was one of total surrender and of total acceptance. Trusting in the Lord and believing that there always is a purpose for whatever happens to us . As my mother loves to remind us when crisis or problems arise: "God writes straight in crooked lines." Every problem is Godıs gift to us --- a chance to grow stronger and become closer to Him. This gave me the courage and the confidence to say:" Bahala ka na Lord! Ikaw ang nakakaalam. Thy will be done"

That Sunday, the ministersı sermon gave me another battlecry, for what I thought was my second round with cancer‹-------Let go and Let God!! This choice to let God be the director of my life has made all the difference. This has allowed me to remain hopeful and to maintain my positive outlook . As some people have told me :" You are the only person I have seen who has cancer and later on, leukemia, who is still laughing " (Ikaw lang ang nakita kong may cancer and later,may leukemia, na tumatawa pa) . And always, I would answer " May plano ang Diyos " (God has a plan) or "Idaan na lang natin sa dasal" (Let us just pray)! I have found assurance in the saying, "God calms our storms, but sometimes, he lets the storm rage and calms his child."

Once again, we were told I had better chances if I went to the US for treatment. Within a week of my diagnosis and exactly two years to the day when I was told I had brain cancer, I was back in the USA. I underwent another painful bone marrow biopsy and a repeat of the blood tests done in the Philippines. And lo and behold, there was no signs of leukemia. There was no trace of any cancer in my body!! My blood levels were in fact at the highest and best levels since 1996! What puzzled the doctors even more was the fact that there were hematogens in my blood. We did not know what these were, so we went to the ever reliable internet for an explanation. It said that hematogens only appear in patients who has gone thru a bone marrow transplant or survived chemotherapy, which I did not, Thank God!

So now the question is; Was I healed or was there a laboratory error? The choice is yours on what you want to believe. As for me, I continue to believe that God indeed works in mysterious ways. I believe that with Christ, I have conquered and will continue to prevail over the big C. That is why, despite my cancer, I am leading an active life, I continue to be happy, I am always hopeful and ever thankful. And every day, I praise Him.

To end, I want to share with you all, a story e-mailed to my mom, which she sent to me, and which I feel summarizes best what has happened to me and what I feel.

One day, God gave someone two boxes: One was gold, the other was black. God said, the gold box is for putting in and keeping your joys, happiness and best times. The black box is for storing your pains, disappointments and hurts.

Through the years, the person observed that the gold box got heavier and heavier, but the black box remained light ---- sometimes feeling even lighter than before.

The person was puzzled and decided to study the boxes more closely. He discovered that the black box was hollow --- it had a hole. Surprised and confused, he called on God and asked, "What does this mean? Why did you give me a box, with a hole?" And God said, "I gave you the gold box so you will always remember and count your blessings. I put a hole in the black box so that after you have put in your sorrows, it will go straight to me. It becomes my burden, not yours. My child, Let go and Let God."

From the time I found out I had brain cancer, up till today, I have kept these two boxes.

I have put all of my trust in the Lord. I have kept my faith in Him. I have accepted everything as part of His plan and His love for me. My joys and beautiful memories have grown and multiplied. And my pains and worries, go away very swiftly, for I know and I continue to believe with all certainty, that God is always with me, by my side. He is my physician and my friend. With him, there is nothing to fear.

Wherever this journey may take me, I am at peace, knowing that He is there for me, for always.